{"id":301,"date":"2026-06-09T13:40:58","date_gmt":"2026-06-09T13:40:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/longhaulmovingpros.com\/?p=301"},"modified":"2026-06-09T13:40:58","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T13:40:58","slug":"masochistic-youtuber-punishes-himself-by-writing-a-first-person-shooter-entirely-in-cobol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/longhaulmovingpros.com\/?p=301","title":{"rendered":"Masochistic YouTuber Punishes Himself by Writing a First Person Shooter Entirely in COBOL"},"content":{"rendered":"
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So: masochism. You might know that it takes its name from 19th-century\u00a0Austrian nobleman and writer Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch\u2014and specifically from the content of his famous work, Venus in Furs<\/em>, which catalogued the narrator\u2019s submissive nature and fondness for experiencing pain and humiliation. Masoch himself was apparently not amused by the fact that his name became attached to such predilections\u2014probably fair, given that the term was first used in a book entitled Psychopathia Sexualis<\/em>, which also pioneered negging by speculating that Masoch himself \u201cwould have achieved real greatness had he been actuated by normally sexual feelings.\u201d Happily, modern attitudes to the \u201cS\u201d part of BDSM are significantly more enlightened than they were in the 1880s and 1890s.<\/p>\n

Read more The Kennedy Center\u2019s Has Scrubbed Trump\u2019s Name Off its Website<\/a><\/p>\n

In entirely unrelated news, a YouTuber by the name of icitry\u2014whose bio on the site reads simply \u201ctry now, suffer later\u201d\u2014has written a whole first-person shooter in freaking COBOL.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve never had to deal with COBOL, well, good for you, and you should probably keep it that way. The language is amongst the oldest computer languages, and was developed in the 1960s for managing business mainframes. It\u2019s probably what drove poor Ginsberg in Mad Men<\/em> out of his mind. COBOL remains in use today, largely in such legacy mainframes and other places where it\u2019s not feasible to replace existing systems that, for all their foibles, still work.<\/p>\n

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One purpose for which it absolutely does not remain in use\u2014and, in fact, has never been used\u2014is programming first-person shooters. So why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone do this to themselves?<\/p>\n